So if there is nothing new about abuse, why is there nothing old about abuse?

Recently I was a co-facilitator in a women’s education/support group. This is a group that I have ran before and look forward to running again. Any opportunity that provides me the space to both teach ( women) and be taught( by women) I find very exciting. Anyway, this group is a 12 week group that is closed; meaning that once we are into the second week of the group new people can not join. During the 12 sessions women tend to become very close knit and build relationships that last and grow outside of the group.

The educational focus of the group focuses on things like providing women with the understanding of what an abusive and a healthy relationship are, tactics people use to gain and/or maintain power and control in a relationship, the impact of abuse, coping skills, self esteem, women and anger etc. Women also learn how culture and various societal institutions further perpetuate the oppression and violence against women.

The support aspect of the group comes in many forms; beginning with the first women offering another woman a ride to or from group, to the passing of a Kleenex box, to the nodding in agreement during the telling of a experience and moving to the understanding that they are not alone in their experience or alone in their journey of healing.

About midway through the group each woman is given the opportunity to tell her story. Most women at this point have told their story a zillion times by this point. They have spoken to family, to friends, to police, to lawyers, to doctors and nurses, to victims service support persons, to shelter workers, to employers, to babysitters and landlords. They have told, and told, and told, and told all to suit the purposes of another. So police can lay charges, so doctors and nurses can assess and treat, so friends and family can support, so they can be safe in a shelter, so their employers will understand their need for time off or help keep them safe while at work, so daycare providers can understand their children’s needs and often to landlords when they give their notice to vacate.

I have often heard people say that there is healing in the telling of your story, the sharing of your pain. I have heard that having someone bear witness to your story that your experience is somehow validated and that it decreases the “isolation” of it all. I have very rarely witnessed any healing from the telling of a story when it is told to suit someone else’s need. I suppose it does help in the retelling that women appear to become numb and detached from their experience- for the interim anyway for the healing journey is a long one and you must first come through the storm so to speak.

I have, however, been witness to the amazing healing and power that comes to women in group as they tell their story. They tell for their own reasons, they tell in a safe place, to people they trust in a manner which feels good and not invasive or prying. They speak, usually with tears streaming, from their hearts and their souls. They speak of pain and suffering, of resilence and bravey, of fear and love and of past and present. They tell their story, their personal experience, their truths in a place wrapped in love and compassion, in fornt of those who understand in ways that others, we hope, will never.

For most this is the zillionth time of telling their story yet it’s the first time in telling it for themselves, in honour of themselves. They share in the way they want to share, without questions- for their own reasons!

Parents: Why You Should Think Twice About What Your Children Are Watching

As a stepmom, I have to tread lightly when I make a conscious decision to go against the grain concerning specific household rules and restrictions. But of course, I blame it on the stereotypical portrayal of stepmothers in fairytales and Disney movies that paint us all as just plan evil. How can we win? It’s already predisposed that we are there to make our stepchild’s life horrible –we couldn’t possibly care could we? All jokes aside, I do care – which is why I have taken the time to understand the types media in what is know as the Generation M (multi-tasking, multi-media environment) of today.

Finally we can confidently say that there is evidence that media violence is one of the causal factors of real-life violence and aggression (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2009). Media violence is not limited to the “pow, bam” actions of characters of our day, but extends to instances of abuse (emotional, physical, financial, or verbal), sexual assault, harassment, destruction of property, destructive forces of nature (violent storms or systems), forceful destruction of property, hate speech, conflict, and substance use and abuse. So how do movies, television shows, songs, videos, video games, etc. containing violence impact our children? They can: Scare or traumatize, promote stereotypes, promote high-risk behaviors (sexual behaviors and attitudes, alcohol use, etc.), encourages imitation, alters brain development, models negative relationships, causes emotional desensitization, and stimulates violent or aggressive behavior.

Considering the above information, we as parents need to monitor and manage our children’s media environments. This is where I always hear the question, “How can I have such rules in my home when all my child’s friends are allowed to do whatever they want?” We can’t protect our children from all media, but what we can do is have conversations with them about the media in their lives. It may be a battle at first but it is our children that are rewarded in the end. For information regarding the media your children are partaking in, visit commonsensemedia.org. It’s a great site with ratings and sample conversation starters for you and your children.

As a parent I recommend you:

Participate and Share

Act Appropriately

Research, Ratings and Reviews

Examine Consequences

Need Rules and Restrictions

Take Action

Supervision for Safety

So remember – you can do it! You are the parent. I have successfully put in place rules and restrictions regarding the media viewed in my household and I’m a stepmom at that! For more information regarding media violence and internet safety, contact Mandy C. at 519-246-1526 ext. 255 or mandyc@wrrcsa.org.

Critical Thinking Takes a Back Seat to Nostalgia Marketing

Critical Thinking Takes a Back Seat to Nostalgia Marketing


Recently I watched Cape Fear and could shake my head at the outdated premise of the need to bury a report of a victim’s promiscuous past, so that the sexual assault charge would stick. Wow I thought, how things have changed. Or not.

Movies, ad slogans, slang...perhaps we haven’t come very far at all. We can’t just blame the media however, as we must all take responsibility for critical thinking and that seems to be in short supply. An American brewery, whose billboards are showing up north of the border, essentially says buy x brand and get the girl. Discussion around this billboard has included statements such as “well, I don’t agree with the message, but the girls have been a part of their ads for a long time.” Or one comment indicated that the ad was iconic because of the way the women were displayed. Yes, displayed. Since the “girls” are clothed in classic 50’s garb, this is passed off as harmless and somewhat nostalgic. What exactly are we nostalgic about?

Second Hand Smoke Kills, So Does Gender Inequality

One woman told me that the ad is a classic icon of a time gone by. Would there be a similar fond amusement if we were to post a picture of that same can of brand x with a black man holding shoe shine supplies and a caption that read buy the beer and get a shoe shine. Shoe shines and the eager black “boy” is offensive; why is the 50’s willing gal any less so? Are we really ready to continue the messaging that anyone is available to be given or won?

What’s the harm you say, it’s just an ad? Really? Is that why smoking is no longer promoted? Just as the invisible waft of a cigarette makes its way to our lungs, so too does the implications of people who can be “won”, permeate our minds. Unless we, men and women, stand up and take notice and speak out against these messages, we will continue to suffer the effects of gender inequality.

Frances Hickmott

Join us for Maxi Monday on June 13th

Don't forget to join us on the patio at The Duke in downtown Strathroy as the ladies from the Strathroy BIA host this month's Maxi Monday networking event.

See you there!

Volunteers wanted for Saturday mornings!

We are embarking on a special summer project and are looking for volunteer support.

The project will be selling fine teas at the Strathroy Farmers Market- as a fundraiser for WRRC.

The market operates Saturday mornings June to October.  You do not need to be available every Saturday to help. 

Please call Frances for more information at 519-246-1526 ext 239

Thank you! 

Urgent need-Soap, shampoo, conditioners and deodorant

We are very low in our supply of personal care items for women in shelter. If you can help, please drop off your donation to WRRC anytime!

We ask that you donate only unopened items please.

Thank you for your support!

Welome to Laura- our new Program Manager!

We are pleased to announce the arrival of  Laura Dunlop-Dibbs to the staff of the Women’s Rural Resource Centre.  Laura is our new Program Manager, and brings many years of experience to her work.  We look forward to exciting  things with Laura!